I just got off the phone w/ Hamell's management and the venue. Sadly, Ed took sick during the drive out here, and the show has been postponed.
For all of you who purchased actual tickets from me, of course I'll get you your money back, however when the show gets rescheduled those tickets would be honored, so you've the option of hanging on to them.
Obviously this is a pretty big bummer. First and foremost we all hope Ed's OK. He's one of the most dedicated performers I know, so he certainly would never cancel unless he was truly too sick to play. Hopefully it's nothing serious. To all my friends that were going to come out, I'm very disappointed to have such lousy news, I even tried to see if just having a comedy showcase was an option but due to refund policy and so forth the venue needed to postpone the event.
I do appreciate Ed's people and the venue for their timely communication and understanding. I know this may, in some ways, seem a bit much over a canceled gig but shows like this are among my favorite to play, and as this fall has not been an easy one, it's safe to say I'm fairly disappointed. I'm not going to use this forum as an opportunity to vent about the state of things because that's not my goal with this (or any) blog. But, geesh, I'm hoping for a slight turn of the tide soon.
Next post will be topical and (potentially) entertaining, complete with the cynicism and misanthropy that keeps me on stage. Promise.
--Ron
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Welcome Back NFL Sunday
Another premier NFL Sunday and yet again I found myself willing to deal with the TV-radio delay than listen to the vomit-inducing verbal-abortion sports announcing on Fox. It gets increasingly more painful every year. I hate to come off as such a shallow critic here, but...I just can't be kind about this...I've tried...I can't even be constructive at this point, it's just awful, completely awful. I've considered delivering my own alternative...somehow figuring out a way to podcast live during Steelers' games and provide live commentating with a couple others. Based on my interpretation of the law that would actually be legal too. Alas, I don't want to be on that side of the coin, I'm no sports expert, I'm sure there are plenty out there far more qualified, they need to find their way to Fox.
The Quaran burning didn't happen. Rev. Terry Jones changed his mind and it was because a) he realized it was barbaric, insensitive and hateful b) The Al Queda issue or c) He had bad indigestion as the night before was burrito night.
If you guessed a) you're too optimistic for your own good. Brace yourself for a lifetime of disappointment.
If you guessed b) me thinks you're correct.
If you guessed c) you and Terry must be golf-buddies.
Taylor Swift wrote a song based on her emotions from the incident where Kayne West interrupted her VMA acceptance speech...after all if there's anything the music industry wants it's a song people can relate to about an issue that's important. It's a VMA for crying outloud, take a lesson from Kurt Cobain, he kept his VMAs in his bathrooms on top of the toilets.
The Quaran burning didn't happen. Rev. Terry Jones changed his mind and it was because a) he realized it was barbaric, insensitive and hateful b) The Al Queda issue or c) He had bad indigestion as the night before was burrito night.
If you guessed a) you're too optimistic for your own good. Brace yourself for a lifetime of disappointment.
If you guessed b) me thinks you're correct.
If you guessed c) you and Terry must be golf-buddies.
Taylor Swift wrote a song based on her emotions from the incident where Kayne West interrupted her VMA acceptance speech...after all if there's anything the music industry wants it's a song people can relate to about an issue that's important. It's a VMA for crying outloud, take a lesson from Kurt Cobain, he kept his VMAs in his bathrooms on top of the toilets.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Glenn Beck and Numbers
Edit
Glenn Beck and Numbers
by Ron Placone on Tuesday, August 31, 2010 at 12:38am
As we all surely know the Glenn Beck rally tragically occurred this past weekend. The media have reported numbers ranging from 87-to-500 thousand in attendance. Know what that means? As a nation, we no longer agree on numbers.
That’s right, numbers are subjective now. There are 5 people in attendance. Really? Are there 5? What is the event? Is it a Tea-Party rally, or a rally for Universal Health Care? Is Faux News reporting? There might be 5, or there might be 25, or there might be negative-up-teenth-forty-one-ty. You might be thinking, “gee Ron, that last one even a number.” Hell no it isn’t. Haven’t you been reading up until now? We don’t use those anymore.
Turns out if we want honest journalism anymore we need to add an arithmetic section for all journalism-related college majors. Perhaps Glenn’s university has Journalistic Arithmetic. When in doubt, always take the, dare I say, “conservative” approach...Old Glenn estimated there were “over 1,000 people in attendance.” Play it safe, play it cool, play it obvious. Glenn went on to say that “some people may not like me very much.”
On the other side, I’ve got some shows coming up as Fall is approaching. Eastern-PA, WV, Pittsburgh all on the list with some more in the works. Keep-a-checkin’ keep-a-livin.’
Glenn Beck and Numbers
by Ron Placone on Tuesday, August 31, 2010 at 12:38am
As we all surely know the Glenn Beck rally tragically occurred this past weekend. The media have reported numbers ranging from 87-to-500 thousand in attendance. Know what that means? As a nation, we no longer agree on numbers.
That’s right, numbers are subjective now. There are 5 people in attendance. Really? Are there 5? What is the event? Is it a Tea-Party rally, or a rally for Universal Health Care? Is Faux News reporting? There might be 5, or there might be 25, or there might be negative-up-teenth-forty-one-ty. You might be thinking, “gee Ron, that last one even a number.” Hell no it isn’t. Haven’t you been reading up until now? We don’t use those anymore.
Turns out if we want honest journalism anymore we need to add an arithmetic section for all journalism-related college majors. Perhaps Glenn’s university has Journalistic Arithmetic. When in doubt, always take the, dare I say, “conservative” approach...Old Glenn estimated there were “over 1,000 people in attendance.” Play it safe, play it cool, play it obvious. Glenn went on to say that “some people may not like me very much.”
On the other side, I’ve got some shows coming up as Fall is approaching. Eastern-PA, WV, Pittsburgh all on the list with some more in the works. Keep-a-checkin’ keep-a-livin.’
Friday, August 13, 2010
Louie and Buses
The obscurity of Megabus is over. Friends that travel, take note. Don't get me wrong, it's a great way to travel, but word is out. My bus, Pittsburgh to New York City, was packed, and not just with youngsters with some time to kill but with families, older people, students and everything in between. But, with AC and free-wifi this is no complaint, yet the days of Megabus being a best kept secret are, for better or worse, over. Personally, I've been on the west coast until recently, so I myself am a late bloomer. Of course, on the way back from NYC the stinkiest dude imaginable sat next to me. I've had worse, because I've ridden Greyhound an unhealthy-amount-for-any-lifetime amount of times, but this guy smelled like hell. I put the A/C on full blast just to try to air him out. No luck. My sleep was interrupted by the occasional bump in the road followed by an unpleasant aroma invading my nostrils uninvited. To my very pleasant surprise the guy got off at State College. Good. Maybe he'll take a class on hygene.
NYC was great. Got to catch a sneak peak of my buddy Jeff Kreisler's one-man show based off his book, "Get Rich Cheating." The irony of the situation was that Jeff's book/show is a satire on the powers that be, corporations, politicians, etc. in the guise of a how-to manual, and this sneak-peak took place at the Border's Books located on the one and only Wall-Street. That's right, enemy's layer folks. I asked Jeff it that was his idea and he told me that it was, in fact, the stores'. Goldman Sachs surprisingly didn't make an office outing out of the event.
Outside of that I did a few sets, met some new people and even ran into an old friend or two, shows went fairly well. I walked through Little Italy completely alone and got depressed that I was by myself and wasn't on vacation. I did, however, splurge on a cannoli.
Just as Megabus is no longer a secret another outed secret is the fact that Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert is a babbling moron. See video.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/13/anderson-cooper-grills-lo_n_681421.html
This guy is spreading his "terror baby" theory without any evidence whatsoever and then lashing out like a rambling fool not even fit for an Alex Jones' fanatic whenever someone questions him on it. And when I say fanatic I mean fanatic, the kind that don't question anything and don't shower ever...and then sit beside me on Megabus.
NYC was great. Got to catch a sneak peak of my buddy Jeff Kreisler's one-man show based off his book, "Get Rich Cheating." The irony of the situation was that Jeff's book/show is a satire on the powers that be, corporations, politicians, etc. in the guise of a how-to manual, and this sneak-peak took place at the Border's Books located on the one and only Wall-Street. That's right, enemy's layer folks. I asked Jeff it that was his idea and he told me that it was, in fact, the stores'. Goldman Sachs surprisingly didn't make an office outing out of the event.
Outside of that I did a few sets, met some new people and even ran into an old friend or two, shows went fairly well. I walked through Little Italy completely alone and got depressed that I was by myself and wasn't on vacation. I did, however, splurge on a cannoli.
Just as Megabus is no longer a secret another outed secret is the fact that Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert is a babbling moron. See video.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/13/anderson-cooper-grills-lo_n_681421.html
This guy is spreading his "terror baby" theory without any evidence whatsoever and then lashing out like a rambling fool not even fit for an Alex Jones' fanatic whenever someone questions him on it. And when I say fanatic I mean fanatic, the kind that don't question anything and don't shower ever...and then sit beside me on Megabus.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
It Could be a 'Dud'ley
I wish I would be paid a dollar for every instance where the media points out the fact that Tactless Tony's replacement happens to be American...as if that's significant.
I mean gee, the American corporate brand has served us so well the past few years, just look at Wall Street, Goldman Sachs, HALLIBURTON! If that leadership stamp doesn't scream ethics and security, I don't know what does.
I find BP's ploy to make this epic disaster an issue of nationalistic pride shallow and elementary at best, however they'll likely be successful.
I mean hell, he can RELATE more right? He lives here, he's a good toutin' 'Merican! Sadly, assumption says the world looks the same on the deck of a private yacht or through a multi-million dollar home where all your needs are met ten-fold. You want someone that can relate and feel the effect of all that's going on? Try hiring one of the shrimp captains that have been out of work and still are.
Let's get Captain Bubba-Gump in charge of the realms: "OK, you know all those resources we have? We're going to divert all of our energy into CREATING A CAR THAT RUNS ON AIR!! We're going to break this declining method of obtaining energy so that way I can go back to doing what I do best which is bringing YOU delicious SEAFOOD! Anyone have a problem? Here's an oil pipe, put that in the ground and the other end up your ass and let me know how it goes." I want to see what that guy can bring to the table.
Now some of you may think I'm being nit-picky here and that's fine...but I encourage you to check out this article http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/07/29/ceo.first.jobs.success/index.html?hpt=C2
See that? Those ol' CEOs were just hard-working chaps like the rest of us, and good ol' Dudley, he's the same way. Does he have any plans to finally fix this mess? Is he working around the clock to solve this crisis once and for all? Who cares! He was born on the same pile of rock and soil as the rest of us.
Instilling nationalism at a time of crisis has quite the success record when it comes to bending the populace to your whim...just ask some guy named George how it worked for him when he wanted to spy on his own citizens, or a guy named Glenn how it helps with his ratings, I'm pretty sure it worked wonders for some dude in Germany named Adolf.
I mean gee, the American corporate brand has served us so well the past few years, just look at Wall Street, Goldman Sachs, HALLIBURTON! If that leadership stamp doesn't scream ethics and security, I don't know what does.
I find BP's ploy to make this epic disaster an issue of nationalistic pride shallow and elementary at best, however they'll likely be successful.
I mean hell, he can RELATE more right? He lives here, he's a good toutin' 'Merican! Sadly, assumption says the world looks the same on the deck of a private yacht or through a multi-million dollar home where all your needs are met ten-fold. You want someone that can relate and feel the effect of all that's going on? Try hiring one of the shrimp captains that have been out of work and still are.
Let's get Captain Bubba-Gump in charge of the realms: "OK, you know all those resources we have? We're going to divert all of our energy into CREATING A CAR THAT RUNS ON AIR!! We're going to break this declining method of obtaining energy so that way I can go back to doing what I do best which is bringing YOU delicious SEAFOOD! Anyone have a problem? Here's an oil pipe, put that in the ground and the other end up your ass and let me know how it goes." I want to see what that guy can bring to the table.
Now some of you may think I'm being nit-picky here and that's fine...but I encourage you to check out this article http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/07/29/ceo.first.jobs.success/index.html?hpt=C2
See that? Those ol' CEOs were just hard-working chaps like the rest of us, and good ol' Dudley, he's the same way. Does he have any plans to finally fix this mess? Is he working around the clock to solve this crisis once and for all? Who cares! He was born on the same pile of rock and soil as the rest of us.
Instilling nationalism at a time of crisis has quite the success record when it comes to bending the populace to your whim...just ask some guy named George how it worked for him when he wanted to spy on his own citizens, or a guy named Glenn how it helps with his ratings, I'm pretty sure it worked wonders for some dude in Germany named Adolf.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Take a Bow, Fall
"People spend alot of time worrying about how something can't work instead of how it can."
It's actually inaccurate of me to put that in quotes, because I'm paraphrasing somebody else. Not just somebody else, but I can't remember whom. Not only can I not remember which person but they may have gotten it from somebody else, or a book, and I don't know the reference. Yet, I'm leaving it. I want this blog post tragically flawed with no option but to shrug, much like our civilization.
On that, I recently made a life decision and will be starting a Master's program at Duquesne University in several weeks. No, I'm not quitting comedy, and I'm not the first, nor will I be the last, comic to make the two co-exist. Again, focusing on the can here.
BP will remain a corporate villain in the eyes of the populace until of course the newest line of affordable mid-sized automobiles is released. This will conveniently coincide with the mid-term elections where the Democrats will yet again prove their only consistent ability is the ability to shoot themselves in the foot. On the bright side, the irony will still be thick enough to cut with a knife.
I personally enjoy the dissection of BP's practices, just to clarify, I'm not defending them by any means, but are we delusional enough to think that they're the only oil company out there to enforce shoddy safety procedures in exchange for padding their own pockets? It wasn't too long ago the Daily Show uncovered that in fact their safety tactics are parallel with other major oil companies.
Other criticisms have included the lack of diversity in the upper management.
Are all of the above reasonable criticisms? Absolutely. Does it piss me off? Yes. Is it surprising? Of course not. Major oil companies rake in billions while trying to squash any opportunity to advance more environmentally sound forms of energy, they cut corners without any regard for their employees or humanity in general, and we really expect to walk into their offices and see a group of people holding hands singing "We Are the World?"
Let's save the delusions can we? In the past few weeks I've come across people that support the war, supported bush, yet they're huge activists now because they avoid buying their gas from BP, you know, that locally owned franchise where it doesn't affect the people responsible for this mess one bit whether you shop there or not.
"Holy shit, sales are down in Millvale? Forget about wanting my life back, repair the well permanently immediately, bring the troops home, let's invest in electric cars"--Tony Hayward, September 2010, just months after ill-informed morons drove an extra 10-feet to the Exxon Mobil.
If you're so committed to said cause don't simply boycott BP, get a bike. If you go said route make sure you don't follow any traffic rules whatsoever and then complain about how people don't share the road, you'll fit in quicker.
It's actually inaccurate of me to put that in quotes, because I'm paraphrasing somebody else. Not just somebody else, but I can't remember whom. Not only can I not remember which person but they may have gotten it from somebody else, or a book, and I don't know the reference. Yet, I'm leaving it. I want this blog post tragically flawed with no option but to shrug, much like our civilization.
On that, I recently made a life decision and will be starting a Master's program at Duquesne University in several weeks. No, I'm not quitting comedy, and I'm not the first, nor will I be the last, comic to make the two co-exist. Again, focusing on the can here.
BP will remain a corporate villain in the eyes of the populace until of course the newest line of affordable mid-sized automobiles is released. This will conveniently coincide with the mid-term elections where the Democrats will yet again prove their only consistent ability is the ability to shoot themselves in the foot. On the bright side, the irony will still be thick enough to cut with a knife.
I personally enjoy the dissection of BP's practices, just to clarify, I'm not defending them by any means, but are we delusional enough to think that they're the only oil company out there to enforce shoddy safety procedures in exchange for padding their own pockets? It wasn't too long ago the Daily Show uncovered that in fact their safety tactics are parallel with other major oil companies.
Other criticisms have included the lack of diversity in the upper management.
Are all of the above reasonable criticisms? Absolutely. Does it piss me off? Yes. Is it surprising? Of course not. Major oil companies rake in billions while trying to squash any opportunity to advance more environmentally sound forms of energy, they cut corners without any regard for their employees or humanity in general, and we really expect to walk into their offices and see a group of people holding hands singing "We Are the World?"
Let's save the delusions can we? In the past few weeks I've come across people that support the war, supported bush, yet they're huge activists now because they avoid buying their gas from BP, you know, that locally owned franchise where it doesn't affect the people responsible for this mess one bit whether you shop there or not.
"Holy shit, sales are down in Millvale? Forget about wanting my life back, repair the well permanently immediately, bring the troops home, let's invest in electric cars"--Tony Hayward, September 2010, just months after ill-informed morons drove an extra 10-feet to the Exxon Mobil.
If you're so committed to said cause don't simply boycott BP, get a bike. If you go said route make sure you don't follow any traffic rules whatsoever and then complain about how people don't share the road, you'll fit in quicker.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
An Open Letter to Tony Hayward (BP CEO)
Dear Tony,
Boy, what a minor inconvenience this turned out to be. Looks like it's more of quite the disaster, and frankly I don't think a complimentary candy bar to all Louisiana residents is going to cut it.
During your 7 1/2 hour probing you graced us with many eloquent and informative answers including but certainly not limited to:
"I can not say."
"[I'm] not prepared to draw conclusions about this accident until the investigation is complete."
and last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST:
"I was not involved with that decision."
That last gem is in reference to the criticism of BP's choice of casing. I'm sure at your level passing the buck is something you could do in your sleep, hell, something had to get you where you are. It's tempting, I'm sure it is, I'm sure everyone would go that route if it wasn't for...what's the word I'm looking for...sometimes causes one not to sleep...oh yeah, values!
Anyway, I'm not here solely to criticize your line of work or the work-culture you adhere to, that's a book I hope to write later in my lifetime. Rather, I'm here to present you with an exercise, a true test of self-will, maybe something that could move things along.
I heard on NPR (they talk about you too quite a bit, you're getting a new fan club I swear) that one in every eight British men would give up sex for the tournament's length if it meant that England won the World Cup. Tell your wife you have an idea. No shaggin' tell this thing's fixed. The only hole you'll be pluggin' will be in the Gulf. You two can even make a little rhyme out of it. "If the water's still black Tony gets none in the sack." You want your life back? Well, the "small people," as you like to refer to them as, want their lives back too.
You seem to be unresponsive to government pressure, and I'm sure the metaphorical Obama ass-whopping is all but laughable considering the fat check you cats wrote during the election.
So maybe some good ol' fashioned sex-less pavement-pounding work is what you need. Come on, Tony, feel like one of the small folks for once. In fact, on behalf of myself and anyone else on this planet that has to spend day after day at a job where they bust their ass to put food on the table: Get to work. Don't even bother getting in front of the camera, don't issue anymore apology videos, just get to work. And open your checkbook Tony, because it's time to pay...maybe you should be part of some of those casing decisions next time.
I'm an artist Tony, we'll always and forever be very different you and I. Amen.
--Ron Placone
Boy, what a minor inconvenience this turned out to be. Looks like it's more of quite the disaster, and frankly I don't think a complimentary candy bar to all Louisiana residents is going to cut it.
During your 7 1/2 hour probing you graced us with many eloquent and informative answers including but certainly not limited to:
"I can not say."
"[I'm] not prepared to draw conclusions about this accident until the investigation is complete."
and last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST:
"I was not involved with that decision."
That last gem is in reference to the criticism of BP's choice of casing. I'm sure at your level passing the buck is something you could do in your sleep, hell, something had to get you where you are. It's tempting, I'm sure it is, I'm sure everyone would go that route if it wasn't for...what's the word I'm looking for...sometimes causes one not to sleep...oh yeah, values!
Anyway, I'm not here solely to criticize your line of work or the work-culture you adhere to, that's a book I hope to write later in my lifetime. Rather, I'm here to present you with an exercise, a true test of self-will, maybe something that could move things along.
I heard on NPR (they talk about you too quite a bit, you're getting a new fan club I swear) that one in every eight British men would give up sex for the tournament's length if it meant that England won the World Cup. Tell your wife you have an idea. No shaggin' tell this thing's fixed. The only hole you'll be pluggin' will be in the Gulf. You two can even make a little rhyme out of it. "If the water's still black Tony gets none in the sack." You want your life back? Well, the "small people," as you like to refer to them as, want their lives back too.
You seem to be unresponsive to government pressure, and I'm sure the metaphorical Obama ass-whopping is all but laughable considering the fat check you cats wrote during the election.
So maybe some good ol' fashioned sex-less pavement-pounding work is what you need. Come on, Tony, feel like one of the small folks for once. In fact, on behalf of myself and anyone else on this planet that has to spend day after day at a job where they bust their ass to put food on the table: Get to work. Don't even bother getting in front of the camera, don't issue anymore apology videos, just get to work. And open your checkbook Tony, because it's time to pay...maybe you should be part of some of those casing decisions next time.
I'm an artist Tony, we'll always and forever be very different you and I. Amen.
--Ron Placone
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