Monday, August 30, 2010

Glenn Beck and Numbers

Glenn Beck and Numbers
by Ron Placone on Tuesday, August 31, 2010 at 12:38am

As we all surely know the Glenn Beck rally tragically occurred this past weekend. The media have reported numbers ranging from 87-to-500 thousand in attendance. Know what that means? As a nation, we no longer agree on numbers.

That’s right, numbers are subjective now. There are 5 people in attendance. Really? Are there 5? What is the event? Is it a Tea-Party rally, or a rally for Universal Health Care? Is Faux News reporting? There might be 5, or there might be 25, or there might be negative-up-teenth-forty-one-ty. You might be thinking, “gee Ron, that last one even a number.” Hell no it isn’t. Haven’t you been reading up until now? We don’t use those anymore.

Turns out if we want honest journalism anymore we need to add an arithmetic section for all journalism-related college majors. Perhaps Glenn’s university has Journalistic Arithmetic. When in doubt, always take the, dare I say, “conservative” approach...Old Glenn estimated there were “over 1,000 people in attendance.” Play it safe, play it cool, play it obvious. Glenn went on to say that “some people may not like me very much.”

On the other side, I’ve got some shows coming up as Fall is approaching. Eastern-PA, WV, Pittsburgh all on the list with some more in the works. Keep-a-checkin’ keep-a-livin.’

Friday, August 13, 2010

Louie and Buses

The obscurity of Megabus is over. Friends that travel, take note. Don't get me wrong, it's a great way to travel, but word is out. My bus, Pittsburgh to New York City, was packed, and not just with youngsters with some time to kill but with families, older people, students and everything in between. But, with AC and free-wifi this is no complaint, yet the days of Megabus being a best kept secret are, for better or worse, over. Personally, I've been on the west coast until recently, so I myself am a late bloomer. Of course, on the way back from NYC the stinkiest dude imaginable sat next to me. I've had worse, because I've ridden Greyhound an unhealthy-amount-for-any-lifetime amount of times, but this guy smelled like hell. I put the A/C on full blast just to try to air him out. No luck. My sleep was interrupted by the occasional bump in the road followed by an unpleasant aroma invading my nostrils uninvited. To my very pleasant surprise the guy got off at State College. Good. Maybe he'll take a class on hygene.

NYC was great. Got to catch a sneak peak of my buddy Jeff Kreisler's one-man show based off his book, "Get Rich Cheating." The irony of the situation was that Jeff's book/show is a satire on the powers that be, corporations, politicians, etc. in the guise of a how-to manual, and this sneak-peak took place at the Border's Books located on the one and only Wall-Street. That's right, enemy's layer folks. I asked Jeff it that was his idea and he told me that it was, in fact, the stores'. Goldman Sachs surprisingly didn't make an office outing out of the event.

Outside of that I did a few sets, met some new people and even ran into an old friend or two, shows went fairly well. I walked through Little Italy completely alone and got depressed that I was by myself and wasn't on vacation. I did, however, splurge on a cannoli.

Just as Megabus is no longer a secret another outed secret is the fact that Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert is a babbling moron. See video.

This guy is spreading his "terror baby" theory without any evidence whatsoever and then lashing out like a rambling fool not even fit for an Alex Jones' fanatic whenever someone questions him on it. And when I say fanatic I mean fanatic, the kind that don't question anything and don't shower ever...and then sit beside me on Megabus.