Wednesday, June 22, 2011


In Connecticut, a 31-year-old man was recently arrested for attempting to buy marijuana on Craigslist. Craigslist, the popular website-cum-electronic bulletin board, serves as, among other things, a platform to make requests for desired products or services, promote events, and meet other people. While illegal use is strongly discouraged, certain advertisements cleverly disguise their intentions and slip through the vigilant team monitoring the ads for odd, illegal or indecent behavior. An unedited version of the suspect’s post is below:

“Looking for an UNmemorable Night?...

You won’t remember it, but that’s a good thing…lol. I’m looking for someone to smoke tobacco with…fun-time tobacco, you know, the green-happy stuff. Get what I’m throwin’ down? Anyway, me, SWM, 31, looking for a good time. Hobbies include macaroni and cheese, discussing post-modernism and Three Stooges DVDs. The last two interests are actually best when done simultaneously. You: Good looking guy or girl, open-minded, and in possession of the fun-time tobacco. Would prefer you host, parents basement is a bit cramped, lol. Send me an e-mail or text me, if I don’t get back to within a day follow-up because I probably forgot.

Knowledge of Star-Wars, Netflix account, and frozen pizza supply that you’re willing to share strongly recommended but not required.”

If you or anyone you know comes across ads such as these they should be flagged immediately, or immediately contact your local congressman as they are most likely responsible for the initial post.

Thank you, the Craigslist Team.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Road Journal Part 5: End of Southwest and Midwest

6/9/11 Did the gig tonight, had a fun time though the crowd was a bit rowdy. Hoping I can fall asleep so I can get a few hours in before heading back to the Albuquerque airport tomorrow. I’m ready to be in a more familiar environment, I’m more than ready to fly home. The west coast/south west has been a great run overall. I’ve learned a good deal, had some great shows (some not so great), met some cool people, and re-connected with many friends and comics, which has been absolutely incredible for me. When you get to see so many friends in so many cities, you never have much time to get homesick. I still only feel like I’ve been gone about two weeks even though it’s nearly been a month. The rest of the June dates will be closer to home which will be wonderful. I’m tired of airports, tired of rental cars, tired of buses, I’m ready to rejoin Erlinda (my car) and be on home turf. Plus, for some dates Germs is going to come with me, so I’ll have company. Germs is my girlfriend, I’m tired of typing “my girlfriend” all the time so from hereon in she will be referred to as Germs. That’s not her real name, that’s her nickname, her nickname that I don’t even think she likes, but I came up with it, and it’s my blog, so it goes. I’m looking to wrap this up because I’ve got a long day ahead tomorrow, but a few run highlights: Getting to do some weeks in the Northwest and return to Seattle, it was a thrill to return to the area and I hope it will continue to play a role in my career, San Francisco and Los Angeles, shows and networking out there, getting to catch Love in Vegas and spend some time with Germs and my family, getting to see my cousins in Arizona, going up to “American Jesus” by Bad Religion in Utah, Phoenix gigs, Austin people, getting to see the following states for the first time: Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas. It’s been real 102-degree heat, but I’ll catch ya later!

6/15/11 I didn’t bring my laptop with me the past few days so I didn’t bother updating this. We brought Germs’ laptop because it’s in much better shape than mine, which is on its last legs. Bloomington shows went great, had some college buddies show up too which was awesome. My college crew makes me laugh like no other, they’re all way funnier than me so I’m glad none of them ever considered stand-up. Of course, a few years have gone by, so most have careers, some are married, but it’s nice when some familiar faces can make it down to Bloomington. Memphis was a good time, got to get some delicious food on Beale St, and we did the Graceland and Sun Studio tours. I had been to Memphis before but Germs hadn’t so we made sure we went to all the sites. Nashville, like Bloomington, was a re-connection for me. I don’t mean in terms of shows, it was my first time doing comedy in Nashville…Zanies is an absolutely beautiful club by the way. I did an internship in Nashville while I was in college and lived there for 3 months. It was an amazing time full of random encounters, massive nights and memorable friendships. Not to mention I crashed Billy Currington’s album-going-gold party and had no idea who he was. Thanks for the free food, Sony. Anyway, I went down to the youth hostel I used to live at to see if the guy that ran the place was around but I guess he doesn’t live on-site anymore. The kid in the office told me he had returned to his condo for the night. I was leaving the next morning so I just went back. The place had come a long way since it was my stomping ground back in ’06. Was great to see you/thanks for letting me crash/great to meet you: Hiromi, Patrick and Melinda, Sunny, Ashley and Aaron, Germs’ folks, Raanad and Josh, Deanne and Justin, Chad and all the Nashville comics. I’m back at my house now and will be in the area for a bit until heading to Buffalo and then Boston. Speaking of Boston, made it home in time to catch most of Game 7, though it wasn’t much of one. So it goes, Lord Stanley.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Road Journal Part 4: Vacation, Utah and Phoenix

6/4/11 I honestly don’t know how I’m still awake. I drove through the night from Phoenix to Vegas, now I’m waiting for my flight to Austin. It’s been a little bit since I’ve written anything for this, reason being I had my built in vacation and didn’t feel like keeping up the routine. I went to Vegas for a couple days and met up with my family and girlfriend. I would’ve liked to have gotten some showcase stuff together while I was out there but I only had two days to spend so decided to treat it as a break. I got to see the Blue Man Group and Love. Blue Man Group dragged a little at times for me but overall was a cool show. Love was pretty solid as well, they made a unique contribution to the large list of work inspired by the Beatles’ music. While I’m a bit skeptical of stuff like that, I can honestly say I enjoyed their adaptation. After Vegas I drove to Flagstaff to visit my cousins who were out there. I got to hike through a lava cave, see Saturn through a telescope, and I took my little cousins swimming, which marked the first time in my life I was ever responsible for the lives of other human beings. Although it was only for an hour-and-a-half I find it worth mentioning that all parties involved made it back from the pool safe and sound. Victory. I think I’m ready to own a dog, though that’s not in the cards anytime soon. After Flagstaff, gigs started up again in Utah. I’d never been to Utah or Arizona for that matter, so it was cool to knock a few more states of the list. After Utah I headed back the way I came to head to Phoenix.

Phoenix was a great time, there’s some really cool rooms out there, plus I got to re-connect with my buddy Todd Hibbeler and his girlfriend, Leah. Which, since I mentioned dogs earlier they have an awesome Boston-Terrier named Waldo. Waldo had mad energy all the time, he even fetched Nerf darts. He’s afraid of stairs and sometimes shits in his cage, needless to say Waldo and I got along pretty well. That’s not to say that I’m afraid of stairs or shit in cages, neither of those habits apply to me, but a dog with qualities like those, what’s not to love? The drive from Phoenix to Vegas was much better than any of the driving I’ve done so far on this trip because I actually had good music with me. Before I was just relying on the radio, but Todd, being the swell guy that he is, allowed me to borrow as many of his CDs as I wanted since he has all of his music backed up on his computer. Fortunately, Todd and I listen to similar music so finding CDs I wanted for the drive was not an issue at all. Having to rely on terrestrial radio is, I would argue at this point, a minor form of torture. Between static, commercials, annoying jocks and insipid play-lists I honestly don’t see how anybody can enjoy commercial radio these days, and when it’s your only option for an 8-hour-drive, you feel it, at least I did. Todd saved me with some great albums to keep me awake. Thanks/was awesome to see you/to meet you goes out to: The family, girlfriend & cousins of course, Susan Jones, Kirk Buckout and all the Phoenix comics, and of course Todd and Leah, thank you for letting me crash, an extremely awesome time and some great tunes for the drive. To Austin!