Tuesday, November 30, 2010

On the Holiday Billboards

In New Jersey the American Atheists posted a billboard in regards to the holidays that had the words "You KNOW it's a myth" with a nativity scene underneath. David Silverman, president of the group has received some coverage on the issue and I wanted to find the most entertaining interview of them all so I looked no further than Faux News. See said interview here:


Puppet-talker Megyn Kelly wanted to know why the billboard had to be so confrontational, which she exemplified by beginning her interview with, "way to ruin Christmas, Dave." Passive.

Honestly, I think the billboard is a bit on the obnoxious side, you know what else I found obnoxious? The hotel desk clerk in West Virginia last year that when I wished her Happy Holidays glared back at me and threateningly wished me a "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Same with the Catholic League that put up an opposing billboard and then insisted on wishing David Silverman a Merry Christmas.

Now, I find myself in a nice position here as I have friends and family that range from Priests to devout Atheists and everything in between. I don't think any more or less of any of them because of their beliefs one way or another because I know their character and that's what matters to me. That being said I get to play spectator and enjoy Church-members getting upset about something they shouldn't give a shit about, and an Atheist organization that should probably find a better way to spend their budget. Although, I guess they can't take the money with 'em. And I really enjoy some of the Christians that refer to evolution as a "fairy tale." I want something credible, give me a talking snake damn it!

Lastly, let's not make this about the children, shall we? "I don't want my children seeing this sign calling it a myth, blah, blah, blah," kids see billboards for booze and strip-clubs and casinos all the time, it's life. Seeing a billboard from someone with an opposing view-point shouldn't be feared, hell, it should be embraced. Learning that not everybody is like you is a valuable lesson to learn, or parents, spin it to your advantage. David Silverman is really Santa's elf and he's testing all the boys and girls who don't believe in Jesus. If you close your eyes and say "I do believe" every time you pass that billboard you're going to get that over-priced crappy toy you won't give two shits about next year. You're welcome Christian parents.

Morons have all kinds of different religious beliefs, even non-existent ones. There's morons on the left, morons on the right, and plenty o' morons in the center. This moron would like to wish all of you a Happy Holiday Season.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

10 KFC Tweets for the Prize

First we had those artery-clogging food bowls, then we had two pieces of fried chicken substituting a bun, it seemed there were no more possible ways for Kentucky Fried Chicken to declare to the world:

“Humanity, we think you’re going down the toilet, and we may as well capitalize on it!”

But now, KFC is offering a $20,000 scholarship for the student with the best “tweet.” That’s right, scholarships in the past have been awarded on various merits such as stellar grades for four years, an essay possessing an advanced understanding on a certain topic, music or athletic ability honed from years of hard work and effort, or in some cases being left-handed and wanting to study accounting, but with KFC, all it takes is a sentence.

One sentence and likely procrastination on a social network. If that doesn’t encourage scholarly excellence, I don’t know what does. Still, while I’m not sure if graduate students qualify or not, I could use an extra 20K. Here’s 10 tweets in an attempt to chase the prize:

I ate your macaroni and cheese once, had the squirts for a week but still passed a final #KFCscholar

I wore a Colonel Sanders tie to prom #KFCscholar

What you call creativity I call playing with your food #KFCscholar

Even as a little kid I knew which state you guys started in #KFCscholar

Because I happen to collect undernourished chickens that can be yours if…#KFCscholar

Because I can taste the difference between you guys and a Hungry Man #KFCscholar

Because the combination-Pizza-Hut-Taco-Bell song is always first on my iPod playlist #KFCscholar

Because I always remembered to pick up something for the dog, pay it forward! #KFCscholar

Because I can write more than 140 characters #KFCscholar

Because my dietary choices are well-informed enough to never eat your product #KFCscholar