Wednesday, December 30, 2009

End of the Year

I spent these last days of 2009 rearranging, transferring, signing, filing, running, pondering...moving! Today I got a new driver's license and registered to vote in the state of Pennsylvania...again. Eventually, I even made dinner plans to say good-bye to a year I'm beyond happy to say good-bye to. It seems like only a week ago I was greeting 2009 with a bit of optimism. While it had its high points this year shriveled like a cat-turd in baking soda.

Awhile back I had a friend that was considering working abroad. Something I've always considered. He told me while he decided against it...he wanted to get on the ball to start a family. Dude was and still is single. "You're basing your life plans on someone you haven't even met yet." "Well, yeah, I guess, sort of."

Would make for some weird arguments down the road wouldn't it? "Damn it honey, you ruined my dreams of backpacking Europe for two years with that inheritance money I received, at least give me this blow-job!!"

"When were you trying to backpack Europe?"

"Three years before we met!"

I think instead of these tacky-shallow promise and chastity rings you see these future-psychiatric-file cretins wearing there should be a different type of ring and a different type of promise: The Live Your Life Promise.

"Future soul-mate, if you're out there I want you to pursue the things you want to pursue and let the ride take you where it will. Don't try to force anything or assume the path you want to take is wrong just because some of your peers may have never learned to think for themselves. Don't worry about me because you can guarantee I'm living the best I can and I'll see you when our paths cross. In the meantime I suggest you do the same because otherwise you'll just be a walking basket case of regret and shopping coupons and quite frankly that's nothing I feel like waking up to ever."

See you in 2010.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Tiger Woods and Kurt Cobain

I never liked Tiger Woods. Never. It's those class-act-pretty-boys we always have to look out for. They're the devils in the blue dresses ten times out of ten. I remember the first time he won the title. He was crying, his parents were there, it was historical. He was a class act, a role-model, just a swell guy. Every kid got a set of golf clubs for Christmas that year, myself included. I always sucked at the damn game.

I remember in the 4th grade or something similar, maybe it was 5th or 6th I can't be sure, we were allowed to write a book report on any book we wanted. Usually, there were restrictions, but, this time in particular we were given free reign...Any book we wanted, as long as it had chapters.

Naturally, I wanted to pick a book I already read, and not just any book I've read, but the one I've read the most. Which, at the time, was "Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana" by Michael Azerrad. I still consider that one of the best rock biographies I've ever read. I met Michael Azerrad about two years ago in Seattle at the About A Son screening. Talked to him for a bit, told him I really dug his books and considered him one of the top music journalists out there these days.

Anyway, turns out the teacher was embellishing on our liberties a bit, because I wasn't permitted to do my report on Nirvana. I never cared for said teacher, she didn't last long. I asked her why, she told me that a biography wasn't appropriate.

"But it has chapters."

"It doesn't matter."

Later I found out that she was letting another student in the class do their report on a BIOGRAPHY on Tiger Woods. Being the tempered little guy that I was I confronted her again.

"Why are you letting (forget) do his report on Tiger Woods? That's a biography."

"Tiger Woods is a class guy, Kurt Cobain was a drug addict that shot himself."

All the while I'd have to see every kid and adult I know form some mawkish obsession with Tiger Woods for the next year or so until his fifteen minutes became a little more subdued...

Well, well, o, how times have changed. Class act? Role model? Don't get me wrong, dude got a piece of Joslyn James, all power. But, I'll just settle for her movies. The sponsors are crumbling, his image forever tarnished, and yet the Bleach re-issue is selling quite well. Which, by the way, the live tracks are great. Wish I could see my old teacher sometime, like the time in 2006 when I ran into my ultra-conservative republican accounting professor the day after the democrats won.

Smells like Teen Spirit? No. Smells like Karma.