Sunday, November 23, 2008

Slow Droppings and some Playlists

Not too long ago Dennis Kucinich was on Bill O'Reilly. During which time Dennis tried to explain the economy to O'Reilly...seemed like a mathematics professor trying to explain algebra to a Doberman.

This week in the NFL: Having to watch both of the Manning brothers pull a victory is enough to break even the strongest of human beings…Such a phenomenon should be prohibited by law. Also, it seems as if, as expected, the piggies in the Zebra shirts are yet again playing for their fellow swine, giving them multiple first downs and stopping the clock when it’s in their favor.

Peyton Manning (aka “In-Bred”) on Adam Vinatieri: “He’s the best in the game I think, he’s got guts, and, there’s another word we use too, but guts will do.”

Gee golly there Peyton, not only did you have to make such a bold statement about your kicker but you had to make a G-rated family-friendly lack luster attempt at a penis joke. Between your tact and your troll-like appearance I wonder how anyone can stomach you.

An abandoned working piano was found in the woods, nobody was quite sure Ben Folds Five video anyone?

Speaking of music, I've been driving a great deal these past few weeks, a few out-of-town gigs, in addition got a case of the new-day-job blues, and I've been thinking a great deal about what I've been taking in the car with me. Below are some highlights from my humble CD collection and an abbreviated list of my must-haves:

1. Jethro Tull, Bursting Out--It took me four years, but I finally found a copy of "Bursting Out," a live album that they recorded in 1978. It's easy to obtain online, but I decided I had to find it in a store, otherwise I wouldn't feel like it was truly mine. Anyway, the album is two discs, and I only listen to it once or twice a year whenever I have a long drive. Reason being I try to completely forget the track list, that way whenever I listen to it I can feel like I'm actually at a Jethro Tull concert. Sure I remember that they play Aqualung and Locomotive Breath, but I would be able to count on those at any concert.

2. Bad Religion, Suffer--If I don't listen to Suffer at least two times in a row at some point, I'm simply not ready to perform.

3. Modest Mouse, Lonesome Crowded West—I can’t imagine driving through the Northwest without popping in this disc at some point. Plus, think of all the classics…Doin’ the Cockroach, Cowboy Dan, Bankrupt on Selling…helps the miles go by.

4. Gin Blossoms, New Miserable Experience---Yes, I know it’s a guilty pleasure…Yes I know…what?

5. Rancid, Let’s Go---Come on baby won’t you show me what you got now!?! Let’s floor it.

6. The Beatles, Abbey Road--- Gotta have the song cycle, gotta have it.

7. Bill Hicks, Flying Saucer Tour Vol 1---This album was recorded at the Funny Bone in my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA. The crowd was a slowly adapting one, and Bill pulls out all the tricks to win them over. In the end he does…big time. This is not only my favorite Bill Hicks’ album, but may be my favorite comedy album of all time. Over two hours of Hicks, some improv, some crowd-work, and all the classic bits.

8. Nirvana, Insecticide—I began listening to Nirvana when I was 10. This influenced my music tastes for the next 13 years and counting. I pick Insecticide because the Vaselines’ covers really help any long haul. I’ll have any of their albums at various times though.

9. Minor Threat, Complete Discography---Whenever I’m in need of another Red Bull and it isn’t handy…Minor Threat will fill that void.

10. Okkervil River, Black Sheep Boy---Will Sheff writes great songs, there’s great songs out there, he wrote a few of them.
I’ll leave it at ten.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Facebook, Northeast Muggers, and a post-election world

There have already been Facebook groups out there to impeach Barack Obama...I guess he must have already committed impeachable offenses such as warrant-less wiretapping,deception during a time of war, and...oh wait.

In Mount Lebanon, PA, an 84-year-old woman was walking along Washington Road last month when someone snatched her purse.

Investigators said they found a phone at the crime scene with an outgoing text message saying, "I'm ready to grab some old lady's purse." Police continued the investigation, as no "lol" or "jk" was found on the end of the text.

According to Faux News, "Sarah Palin's allies are pushing back against a stream of accusations leaking out of John McCain's campaign that the Alaska governor was incompetent during the run-up to the election." Sure every time she spoke we learned of another court case or social structure she didn't understand, and sure her performance in the VP debate was nothing short of laughable, but she had some pretty outfits gosh-darn it!

The GOP has officially invited Joe Lieberman into the Republican fold...leaving us all to wonder why Joe Lieberman is still a Democrat in the first place.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Pre-Election Thoughts

At a football game in Marietta, Ohio, Sarah Palin was greeted by enthusiastic fans and a cheerleader who asked her, "do you do jokes?"...Apparently she's never heard Palin talk about the environment before.

A Faux News headline read: "Opposing Views: Are the Media Biased in This Presidential Election?" Results pointed to yes, but Sean Hannity dismissed it as "more liberal propaganda."

As I'm writing this I'm watching the New England Patriots battle, to quote Hunter S., "those swine known as the Indianapolis Colts." In between Madden's dribble and some scoring from both sides GOP ads are run in regards to Rev. Wright and Obama, a few ads for the promise of Change are aired as well.

The NFL has always been as political as politics in this country, it's a Lawyer's game, which is part of the beauty. Yet, unlike parts of Europe our teams are non-partisan. My Italian cousin asked me if the Pittsburgh Steelers were a Republican team or a Democrat team. I explained to him that no such thing existed. In the U.S., sports are sports, politics are politics. If we had to assign parties to teams though, I'd have to say that the best candidate for the Republican team would be the Indianapolis Colts, Dallas Cowboys in a close second. The Indianapolis Colts have Peyton Manning, who along with his brother Eli and father Archie comprise the Bush family of the NFL. They're iconic figures for America, especially the middle, the people that like to go to church on Sunday. With the Indianapolis Colts being the Republican team, the referees would be the mainstream media. Although I have to admit I haven't seen the Colts getting the breaks they've gotten in years past this year, maybe somebody finally complained.

The Democratic team is a bit tougher to call. The Green Bay Packers or the Pittsburgh Steelers may seem like obvious candidates, but I'm being realistic here. Both teams are too pure, too genuine, too respectable, not corporate enough. I'm going to go with the San Diego Chargers as the Democrat team. Reason being I can't think of any other team in recent years that's better at beating themselves.

For the record, the Indianapolis Colts won the game, and I sure as hell wasn't rooting for them.