Thursday, July 29, 2010

It Could be a 'Dud'ley

I wish I would be paid a dollar for every instance where the media points out the fact that Tactless Tony's replacement happens to be if that's significant.

I mean gee, the American corporate brand has served us so well the past few years, just look at Wall Street, Goldman Sachs, HALLIBURTON! If that leadership stamp doesn't scream ethics and security, I don't know what does.

I find BP's ploy to make this epic disaster an issue of nationalistic pride shallow and elementary at best, however they'll likely be successful.

I mean hell, he can RELATE more right? He lives here, he's a good toutin' 'Merican! Sadly, assumption says the world looks the same on the deck of a private yacht or through a multi-million dollar home where all your needs are met ten-fold. You want someone that can relate and feel the effect of all that's going on? Try hiring one of the shrimp captains that have been out of work and still are.

Let's get Captain Bubba-Gump in charge of the realms: "OK, you know all those resources we have? We're going to divert all of our energy into CREATING A CAR THAT RUNS ON AIR!! We're going to break this declining method of obtaining energy so that way I can go back to doing what I do best which is bringing YOU delicious SEAFOOD! Anyone have a problem? Here's an oil pipe, put that in the ground and the other end up your ass and let me know how it goes." I want to see what that guy can bring to the table.

Now some of you may think I'm being nit-picky here and that's fine...but I encourage you to check out this article

See that? Those ol' CEOs were just hard-working chaps like the rest of us, and good ol' Dudley, he's the same way. Does he have any plans to finally fix this mess? Is he working around the clock to solve this crisis once and for all? Who cares! He was born on the same pile of rock and soil as the rest of us.

Instilling nationalism at a time of crisis has quite the success record when it comes to bending the populace to your whim...just ask some guy named George how it worked for him when he wanted to spy on his own citizens, or a guy named Glenn how it helps with his ratings, I'm pretty sure it worked wonders for some dude in Germany named Adolf.

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