Sunday, July 18, 2010

Take a Bow, Fall

"People spend alot of time worrying about how something can't work instead of how it can."

It's actually inaccurate of me to put that in quotes, because I'm paraphrasing somebody else. Not just somebody else, but I can't remember whom. Not only can I not remember which person but they may have gotten it from somebody else, or a book, and I don't know the reference. Yet, I'm leaving it. I want this blog post tragically flawed with no option but to shrug, much like our civilization.

On that, I recently made a life decision and will be starting a Master's program at Duquesne University in several weeks. No, I'm not quitting comedy, and I'm not the first, nor will I be the last, comic to make the two co-exist. Again, focusing on the can here.

BP will remain a corporate villain in the eyes of the populace until of course the newest line of affordable mid-sized automobiles is released. This will conveniently coincide with the mid-term elections where the Democrats will yet again prove their only consistent ability is the ability to shoot themselves in the foot. On the bright side, the irony will still be thick enough to cut with a knife.

I personally enjoy the dissection of BP's practices, just to clarify, I'm not defending them by any means, but are we delusional enough to think that they're the only oil company out there to enforce shoddy safety procedures in exchange for padding their own pockets? It wasn't too long ago the Daily Show uncovered that in fact their safety tactics are parallel with other major oil companies.

Other criticisms have included the lack of diversity in the upper management.

Are all of the above reasonable criticisms? Absolutely. Does it piss me off? Yes. Is it surprising? Of course not. Major oil companies rake in billions while trying to squash any opportunity to advance more environmentally sound forms of energy, they cut corners without any regard for their employees or humanity in general, and we really expect to walk into their offices and see a group of people holding hands singing "We Are the World?"

Let's save the delusions can we? In the past few weeks I've come across people that support the war, supported bush, yet they're huge activists now because they avoid buying their gas from BP, you know, that locally owned franchise where it doesn't affect the people responsible for this mess one bit whether you shop there or not.

"Holy shit, sales are down in Millvale? Forget about wanting my life back, repair the well permanently immediately, bring the troops home, let's invest in electric cars"--Tony Hayward, September 2010, just months after ill-informed morons drove an extra 10-feet to the Exxon Mobil.

If you're so committed to said cause don't simply boycott BP, get a bike. If you go said route make sure you don't follow any traffic rules whatsoever and then complain about how people don't share the road, you'll fit in quicker.

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