Friday, January 21, 2011

Over-Privileged College Kid Makes Statement and Other Quips

President Obama recently received a $400 pencil, this will save on paper as now he can just erase parts of a bill as it's being gutted as opposed to printing out a new one.

Rick Santorum links African American Civil Rights with the rights of unborn babies, Santorum says it's not much of a stretch, after all, fetuses would also likely find it difficult to hail a cab in the Midwest.

Nic Ramos, University of Colorado student, decides to make a statement by paying his tuition in all $1 bills. He says the experience has given him a greater appreciation for the money his parents give him. He will likely be seen as the spokesman for all over-privileged 19-year-old's with too much time on their hands and a YouTube account. Ramos says he hopes his actions get people thinking, mission accomplished as Ramos' mother is likely thinking "why didn't I just give fellatio that night."

In the UK, members of the Boyscouts can now earn badges by busting drivers for speeding, tactics are expected to be duplicated in America to save money on police force and scouts can earn two badges if the guilty party attempts to bribe them with free booze.

Former England soccer star Jermaine Pennant left his Porsche at a rail station for a month because he forgot he owned one, Pennant recently received a sympathy call from John McCain, who joked that he had no idea which one of his houses he was calling from.

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